Why adults have affairs?
Chat about a loaded theme that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from ancient times. Affairs can be loaded with evils, cause sadness, and other problems. Plus you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety matter, funds, age difference, faith upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating wives.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affairs. I am conserned generally though it is just the human state, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to turn the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For many people the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but society too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your relatives or anybody else? You will need to reduce the risk you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest group, huge really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are comfy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to consider. Your savings are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair from time to time solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sadly this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, generally the man is sexually neglecting his wife for a large humber of reasons. As a man I really am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us men of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be caring is gone, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown distantly, our general concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair